Fear and Bloating on the Vineyard

Part 7

by Jason Gay

When I worked at the Vineyard Gazette, I wrote a lot of frightening stuff about golf scorecards and bookstore receipts. But for sheer banality, the Globe set a standard that has yet to be challenged.

In a 1993 editorial titled "The Magic Ferry that Clinton Missed," the paper gently scolded the president for arriving on the Vineyard via Air Force One instead of taking the boat from the mainland. An excerpt:

The mainland begins to drift backward, getting smaller and smaller until it's out of sight. And so does everything else. All the hurly-burly of home and work on the mainland. Drifting away. Shrinking. Disappearing. Gone.

No one left but the vacationers. Makes no difference if it's day or night, sunny or dark, rainy or clear. They're "hard away" and glad of it.

Have a hot coffee or an icy drink. Keep a lookout. Feel the engine throbbing underfoot. Deep sighs. Silly grins. Why is everyone so happy?

Ocean is deep and wide. Separates travelers from past connections. Free spirits now. Beachtime, golftime, biketime, booktime, clamtime, couchtime, naptime, playtime . . .

Yeeeeesh time.

Part 8

Jason Gay can be reached at jgay[a]phx.com.