Hot Dots

by Clif Garboden

FRIDAY 25

8:00 (4, 12) The Dukes of Hazzard Reunion (movie). Now we're talking. One of the absolute stupidest television shows of all time is being welcomed as an old friend. It was pretty funny -- not the show, but the fact that somebody 1) made the show and 2) watched the show. Can't fault a program with a character named Daisy Duke. Starring John Schneider, Tom Wopat, Catherine Bach, Stella Stevens, and the General Lee. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (2) In Performance at the White House. Playing for Bill and Hill, we get Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (44) Around the World in 80 Days: Ancient Mariners. Michael Palin continues his global odyssey through heavy seas in the Persian Gulf. (Until 10 p.m.)

SATURDAY 26

8:00 (38) Buried Alive (movie). Woman poisons husband so she'll be free to cavort with her lover. Woman poisons poorly. Husband wakes up in his grave. Gets out somehow. Seeks (you guessed it) revenge. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Tim Matheson star. (Until 10 p.m.)

8:00 (44) Masterpiece Theatre: Rebecca, part two. Repeated from last week. The conclusion of this two-part remake of Daphne du Maurier's sordid tale of spousicide and dishonest redemption is a darn sight more compelling than the first half. Charles Dance improves his part by actually having some lines. Diana Rigg reveals a darker side of Mrs. Danvers than the more ostensibly menacing Judith Anderson would have been allowed to in Hitchcock's 1940 edition. Emilia Fox remains fetching but pointless and unconvincing as the ingenue bride who learns to accept her husband's homicidal tendencies. But what really wakes up this gothic dog is Jonathan Cake, as slimeball kissin' cousin Jack Favell, who makes you taste the scenery as he swallows it whole. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (2) The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (movie). Director Joseph Mankiewicz's 1947 ectoplasmic romance, with Rex Harrison as the friendly ghost who rattles his chains for widow Gene Tierney. The source for the sweet but unmemorable 1968-'70 Hope Lange TV series. To be repeated on Sunday at 2:40 p.m. (Until 10:45)

10:00 (44) The Papal Concert to Commemorate the Holocaust. A landmark 1994 concert, famed because it was the first time the Pope let Catholics and Jews play together at the Vatican. (Exactly who is meant to be flattered by that is unclear.) The program features the third movement of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, excerpts from Leonard Bernstein's Symphony No. 3 (Kaddish), and Richard Dreyfuss reciting the Hebrew prayer for the dead. (Until 11 p.m.)

10:45 (2) The Innocents (movie). Truman Capote co-wrote the screenplay for this 1961 British adaptation of Henry James's The Turn of the Screw. Deborah Kerr plays a governess who suspects supernatural shenanigans from her charges. Also starring Pamela Franklin, Martin Stephens, and Michael Redgrave. To be repeated on Sunday at 1 p.m. (Until 12:25 a.m.)

Midnight (38) When the Party's Over (movie). Three gals and one guy are housemates. Stuff happens. From 1992 and starring Sandra Bullock and Rae Dawn Chong -- which makes this a curiosity worth mentioning (not necessarily worth watching). (Until 2 a.m.)

2:05 a.m. (5) Roswell (movie). Thanks to those fools from the Heaven's Gate cult, we now are forced to acknowledge that some flying-saucer nuts are goofier than others, which apparently lends credibility to the ones who don't neuter themselves and drink poison. Anyway, this Kyle MacLachlan/Martin Sheen exploitation tackles the Mother of All Little Green Men Yarns -- the unstoppable tale of a UFO found smoldering in the New Mexico desert in 1947. Now it can be told; we've been invaded by visitors from another galaxy. Like it's made your life real different. (Until 4:05 a.m.)

SUNDAY 27

8:30 (7, 10) The River Wild (movie). It's Meryl Streep, see, and she's not getting along with hubby David Strathairn, so of course they go white-water rafting, and then they meet Kevin Bacon and John C. Reilly, who seem to be nice guys but, well, you know the drill on this one. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (2) Masterpiece Theatre: The Buccaneers, part one -- "The Invasion." When we first caught this title on the PBS schedule, we hoped for a new version of the mid-'50s swashbuckle-TV series with Robert Shaw as reformed high-seas pirate Dan Tempest. No such luck. This is a total-girl thing about a bunch of nouveau riche American women in 1870 who go to England to marry aristocrats because the old money of New York won't invite them to the right parties. From a novel that Edith Wharton never finished (writing) and starring Mira Sorvino and Carla Gugino (who used to be Michael J. Fox's love interest on Spin City until undisclosed forces wrote her out of the script). It's been on before, and it comes in three parts. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (4, 12) A Match Made in Heaven (movie). Thought they came from Ohio. A dying Olympia Dukakis gets playboy son John Stamos together with dedicated nurse Della Reese. Maybe Olympia is hoping to revive Highway to Heaven. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (5) The Shining (movie), part one. Stephen King himself claims this is going to be the scariest thing on TV since Gilbert Gottfried. But then, it's his production and he wants you to watch even though you already saw the 1980 big-screen movie with Jack Nicholson. Fact is, most Stephen King TV productions have been overly long, repetitious, and confusing. This three-parter stars Steven Weber, Rebecca De Mornay, Melvin Van Peebles, Elliott Gould, and Pat Hingle. To be continued on Monday at Thursday at 9 p.m. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (44) Frontline: Nuclear Reaction. Repeated from last week. Pulitzer-winning historian Richard Rhodes considers why Americans think nuclear energy is such a threat. (Does the phrase "Cold War" or "Three Mile Island" suggest any possibilities?) (Until 10 p.m.)

MONDAY 28

8:00 (2) Mysteries of Deep Space: The Search for Alien Worlds. The series ends with a look at what it claims is the "latest effort" to search for extraterrestrial intelligence (but something new happens every day in this field). Plus a look at evidence of primitive (i.e., not especially intelligent) life on Mars. To be repeated on Friday at midnight, and on Thursday at 8 p.m. on Channel 44. (Until 9 p.m.)

9:00 (2) The American Experience: Around the World in 72 Days. You've heard the name Nellie Bly for years and probably figured she was some mythic American personage like Stacker Lee. Now find out that she was a real person, who (at age 19) bulled her way into a job on a newspaper and became "the best reporter in America." (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (5) The Shining (movie), part two. Way to glow. The finale (perhaps with animated topiary) is scheduled for Thursday at 9 p.m. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (7, 10) The Sleepwalker Killer (movie). A BIFTVMFTFOUM (based-in-fact TV-movie from the files of Unsolved Mysteries) about a sleepy guy who kills his mother-in-law and attacks his dad-in-law. Murder? Yeah, it's murder, okay. Who's arguing? (Until 11 p.m.)

10:00 (2) Chicano! The History of the Mexican-American Civil Rights Movement: The Struggle in the Fields. Part two of this four-part documentary looks at César Chávez and the great grape strike, a job action that led to the passage of the California Labor Relations Act. (Until 11 p.m.)

TUESDAY 29

8:00 (2) Nova: The Doomsday Asteroid. Here it comes. Look, up in the sky -- it's the producers of Nova making like the National Enquirer with some death-threat science. Apparently outer space is lousy with giant asteroids, and sooner or later one of them is going to land in New Jersey. So worry. To be repeated on Wednesday at midnight. (Until 9 p.m.)

8:00 (25, 64) The Mask (movie). Jim Carrey pulls his face all over the place in this special-effects-top-heavy comedy. (Until 10 p.m.)

8:00 (44) Masterpiece Theatre: Middlemarch, part four. Dorothea, a widow (yippie!), looks for petty ways to snub her late husband. (Until 9 p.m.)

9:00 (4, 12) Too Close to Home (movie). Judith Light and Rick Schroder star in this 1997 BIFTVM about an obsessive mother. (Until 11 p.m.)

10:00 (2) Viewpoint: In the Shadow of the Reich: Nazi Medicine. Hitler's doctors. (Until 11 p.m.)

WEDNESDAY 30

8:00 (7, 10) Ace Venture: Pet Detective (movie). Typical high-grossing Jim Carrey gross-out comedy. Courtney Cox co-stars. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (2) The Living Edens: Patagonia: Life at the End of the Earth. We always figured a trip to Revere Beach would tell us all we need know about that subject. A trip to southern Argentina. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (4, 12) The Absolute Truth (movie). Jane Seymour trades in her stethoscope for a telecam as a TV news producer who learns that (horrors) the nation's highest elected official has hit on a friend of hers. What would Dr. Quinn do? With William Devane as you-know-who (you were expecting the other Bill?) and Linda Purl as the lust object. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (5) Ellen. Perhaps she'll surprise everybody and marry the fat guy from the bookstore. A special spring outing. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (44) Four Presidents and the Great American Clean-Up. A rather elaborate celebration of volunteerism, hosted by the very people who have led our government so badly that all this volunteering is necessary. Bill and Hillary join Gerry, Jimmy, and George in Philadelphia for a pow-wow with Colin Powell, Nancy "Speed Freak" Reagan, Lady Bird Johnson, all 50 governors, and the mayors of the 50 largest US cities. And who will be minding the store while this three-day high-office fest takes place? Hey, we get it. Now's our chance to clean up America while the obstructionists are off at a public-relations party. (Until 10 p.m.)

10:00 (2) The Trial of Adolf Eichmann. It was the first televised trial ever. In 1961 Nazi horror Eichmann stood accused of "crimes against the Jewish people" before the whole world, and whatever political motives may have lurked not too far beneath the surface of the proceedings, it was a righteous routine. This special recaps the shocking trial through rare videotapes. (Until midnight.)

THURSDAY 1

8:00 (38) Thelma & Louise (movie). Women on the road. Watch out. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis star. (Until 10:30 p.m.)

9:00 (2) Mystery: Cadfael: One Corpse Too Many. Ninety-four rebel soldiers to bury, but clever Cadfael notices that the body count doesn't come out even. (Until 10:30 p.m.)

9:00 (5) The Shining (movie), part three. The conclusion. (Until 11 p.m.)

FRIDAY 2

8:00 (38) Crocodile Dundee (movie). The original, and most palatable, of the C.D. sagas with Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (2) Nunsense 2: The Sequel. How this effort is substantially different from the original is an irrelevant question. Rue McClanahan reprises her obnoxious role as the Big Mother to the Little Sisters of Hoboken, who go back on stage for another round of lame Catholic jokes. Irony follows. (Until 10:50)

9:00 (44) Around the World in 80 Days: A Close Shave. Michael Palin does India. (Until 10 p.m.)

10:50 (2) Sister Wendy. Here's the aforementioned irony. Unintentional juxtaposition? We trow not. Little Sister Wendy offers one of her spiritual art tours. (Until 11 p.m.)

Midnight (2) Mysteries of Deep Space: The Search for Alien Worlds. Repeated from Monday at 8 p.m.

The 525th line.

Cable's for suckers, but sometimes Bandit TV offers something worth checking out. On Saturday, April 26, American Movie Classics (AMC), the old-movie channel hosted round the clock by George Clooney's father, will air the original 1959 Pietro Francisci Hercules, starring the one and only Steve Reeves. It just doesn't get any better than this, sword-and-sandal fans. And by Zeus, if the muscle-bound epic doesn't even pay more than lip service to the authentic "Labors" tale. The obligatory orgy production number is a standard-setter. And Reeves, of course, is an enduring example of body-building before steroids.