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MR. HANKEY'S CHRISTMAS CLASSICS

(American/Columbia)

The South Park folks are back to lend a little Bronx cheer to the holiday season in the form of an 18-track disc of original Christmas tunes and mistreated classics. Mr. Hankey is, of course, the friendly fecal figment of our heroes' overactive imagination who gives new meaning to the concept of the Yule log. He gets first honors here with the colorful "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo": credited as an "early-'50s recording performed by Cowboy Timmy," it gets a little graphic as we're reminded that "Sometimes he's nutty/Sometimes he's corny/He can be greenish brown/But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve/He might come to your town" against a backdrop of supple strings and tinkling piano.

That pretty much sets the tone for this densely packed collection of equal-opportunity offensiveness. We get "Merry Fucking Christmas" by Mr. Garrison, wherein the South Park educator wishes a merry fucking Christmas to "Mister Muslim," "Mr. Hinduist," and the people of Japan. There's also Kyle's touching "The Lonely Jew on Christmas" (as well as an "O Tannenbaum" credited to Adolf Hitler); Isaac Hayes (a/k/a Chef) turning the story of Jesus's birth into a funky paternity suit in "What the Hell Child Is This?"; and "The Most Offensive Song Ever," a little ditty about the Virgin Mary sung by Hankey and a mumbling Kenny that requires quite a bit of, ah, decoding. And it all comes to a cruel close, fittingly enough, with a ceremonial flush. Let's just say this is one holiday album that's not for the whole family.

-- Matt Ashare