Simple minds

Say hello to the Pathetics

by John O'Neill

Music can be a whole lot of things ranging from cathartic release to socio-political commentary to simple pleasure. Worcester's newest sensation, the Pathetics, fall into the latter category. Toe-tappin', hand-clappin', and occasionally forehead-slappin', the appropriately named Pathetics take "simple" for an elevator ride down to a whole new level.

They were born of boredom and formed over the past year by childhood friends Rich Lorion and Dave Strandberg as an excuse to goof around and tape favorite cover songs in Lorion's home studio. The seed of foolishness that would bloom into the Pathetics was planted when they accidentally wrote an original one evening, figured it easy enough to try again, and eventually went looking for a drummer with whom to record. Enter Chris Arundel, a coworker at Lorion's day job and former country-band drummer who had some free time on his hands.

"Chris was in the Country Line Band, and they actually played in front of thousands of people," says bassist Lorion. "They had a deal in Nashville that fell apart and a CD; but we refuse to listen to it, which kinda bothers him."

Setting their sights on their inclusion on a local compilation, the new band christened themselves Screamin' Jesus and the Nail Drivers, quickly rattled off three original numbers, and were almost as quickly rejected by the label producing the comp. "Now I get all types of mail with Screamin' Jesus on it," adds Strandberg of the process.

Having set the tone of their young career as utter failures, the lads renamed themselves the Pathetics after a "particularly horrible" night of rehearsals and turned their collective gaze toward the bright lights of Worcester where they would seek fame and fortune on the club circuit.

"We thought we were real heavy shit," reflects Strandberg on their first gigs at Sir Morgan's Cove. "Chris is like, 50, and we feel like 50. And all four bands we played with blew holes through our chest. We looked like Lawrence Welk after these guys. Now we figure we're just raucous for our age."

Featuring songs that range from the topics of TV evangelists, Jack Kevorkian, stalkers, waking up in jail after a bender, and waking up with the barmaid after a bender, the Pathetics' live sound comes across as something between the Ramones in a mopey mood and the Clash with nothing much important to say. After all, how serious can you take a song called "Drunk Tank"?

"There's a place for being serious and having a message, but not for us," says Strandberg, who does duty as the band's singer and guitarist and was actually once inspired to write a tune after watching a particularly enjoyable episode of Designing Women. "I may have one someday, but I hope not."

"We just write the shit, look at each other, and figure `cool,' then we go play it out," says Lorion in explaining the band's secrets to successful songwriting. "It's not like we're writing masterpieces, but people seem to like it.

"I was in the bathroom taking a leak after our set and this guy comes in and goes `Peace, Love, and Greed' and starts singing the song to me," Lorion adds with a hint of bewilderment in his voice. "We can't figure it out, we just do it."

It seems that the Pathetics have indeed struck a chord with the masses after only five shows. Not the least of whom is Cove manager Erick Goden, who has asked the band to record a full-length CD with East Coast Audio, home of Chillum. With 11 originals in the bag, the boys will begin work in the hopes that the CD will be ready to spring on an unsuspecting public by the end of summer. All of which comes as somewhat of a surprise to both Lorion and Strandberg, who've been playing in obscure bands together for the better part of two decades.

"You know, we were in a band 16 years ago, playing punk songs, and then we spent all that time playing cover music we didn't like, trying to fit in," says Strandberg of the Pathetics long, twisted road to rock stardom. "It's easier doing your own stuff than learning the stuff you hate that others like. Plus we weren't talented enough to play the slow songs."

"The killer is, you're younger you want to be big," adds Lorion. "We've had more success just playing with no pressure."

You can catch the no-frills genius of the Pathetics this Friday night, May 5, at Sir Morgan's Cove along with the stylings of '80s hit machine Orange Crush.