* Sammy Hagar

MARCHING TO MARS

(MCA)

Sammy Hagar is a moron, and I mean that as a compliment. As Van Halen's lead singer for the past decade, he singlehandedly kept the band from getting too smart or too ambitious. But he takes his return to solohood as an occasion to prove his depth -- a scary prospect indeed. Marching to Mars is nothing less than a concept album about getting kicked out of Van Halen, with Hagar emoting over acoustic guitars and tinkling piano. Spleen-venting numbers like "Little White Lie," "Amnesty Is Granted" and "Leavin' the Warmth of the Womb" (translation: "Gettin' Kicked Out of Van Halen") reveal more about his hurt feelings than you'd ever want to know. "Who Has the Right?" makes the bold statement that killing other people is bad. Save for the novelty title track, which sounds more like fellow burnout Joe Walsh, the dumb fun you'd expect from Hagar is nowhere in sight. There's an overload of ballads and a couple attempts at blues, but not a single full-fledged rocker. After all these years, it seems he's finally learned to drive 55.

-- Brett Milano