G-men

Proton Accelerator update the conspiracy

by John O'Neill

It wasn't a feeling of dread that I'd had in the pit of my stomach the past few days, nor was it a sense of fear. No, this was something more akin to the tight ball of nerves that comes with the great unknown -- the feeling that goes hand-in-hand with unstudied-for algebra tests, baseballs accidentally lobbed through neighbor's windows, and that scene in Jaws when Ben Gardner's water-logged noggin pops out of the hole in the bottom of the boat. It's a sourness rooted in the contemplation of the what if. Which is why Proton Accelerator had us so unnerved: we'd been listening to their sophomore disc, 33 *, for two weeks and we had too many questions. What if they're right and the Freemasons really rule the world? Am I being watched on the Internet? Is the government really in cahoots with the gray aliens, and are we trading people for technology?

And why was spokesman Dave Glick (if that was his real name) so elusive when we tried to get in touch with the band for an interview? What exactly was he hiding? It had already occurred to me in my conspiracy frenzy that the Accelerator's disc, which they promote as a tool to expose the oppressive nature of secret societies, may be a reverse-mindfuck aimed at promoting their own hidden agenda and at taking down the current socio/political power structure. What if the trio themselves are a rock band who belong to the Satanic Illuminati? In these "end of time" days, can we really rule out the Proton Accelerator as Ol' Scratch's house band sent to recruit impressionable youngsters for His dark army. Or are they here to try and save us -- the sheep -- from ourselves? Could this interview cost me more than I'm ready to bargain for?

"Are you recording this," Glick asks when I finally pick up the phone. It appears he's calling from a pay phone, most likely to keep our conversation private as his home number is most likely bugged, assuming he is whom he claims to be. Hip to my doubts, he dispatches my initial fear that Accelerator are a Satanic pawn: "No man, I'm Jewish."

They formed two years ago when college pals Glick and guitarist Jim Romeo, and then international drumming superstar Gonzalez Suarez ("in Venezuela he holds drum clinics," Glick confides), came together. Suarez, Glick says, "is endorsed by Vic Werth, Pearl Drums, and Sabian." Since then, the Proton Accelerator have been on a three-man mission to refute commonly held myths. Using only bass, drums, guitar, and a sampler, the group have attempted to disseminate the Truth to the masses via their debut disc, Extra Ordinary Magnitude, and with the recent 33*. An incendiary indictment and exposé of the Masons' power (for those who don't know, there are 33 degrees or levels within the Masonic Order, with the thirty-third (called the Sovereign Grand Inspector General Active) split between Luciferian high rollers (who pledged to strike down the church and state) and those who have no knowledge of the Illuminati. The controversial soundtrack, which contains 33 songs titled after the various stations within the Freemasons, could put the boys in grave danger. After all, they have almost-certainly murdered in the past, and will most likely do so in the future.

"I was really into books about the sub-culture under the culture running the world. With the second album, we went after a particular sub-culture, which was the Masons. All but three presidents, and 23 of the founding fathers, were Freemasons; so the country was built around them," says Glick. "After we finished the album, I started reading these things that [suggest] maybe they aren't so bad, so I'm contradicting myself. Maybe they aren't all devil worshippers trying to destroy the world. Or maybe I don't give a shit anymore. I'm just gonna mellow out and let whatever happens happen."

Whatever Glick's current fixations (which include the notion that we have colonized Mars, and that the FDA's black helicopters are responsible for cattle mutilation and for the testing of people in the general area of Roswell, New Mexico, for radiation from previous above-ground atomic bomb tests), he and his gang of disinformation specialists are catching on. 33 * is a tranced-out instrumental romp that uses sampled messages to set our minds free, culminating in the 27-minute loop where all is revealed. And, if the Freemasons aren't too taken with the band, the public (at least those in relatively high places in the music industry) are. The Accelerator, who have opened for the Foo Fighters, Rocket from the Crypt, Corey Glover, and for Lit, have scaled the CMJ charts and have signed a contract to have their music appear on next season's Tom Green Show. (They play the Lucky Dog this Friday night.) As for the band coming to grips with their battle over the true nature of power and over the struggle for truth?

"The [conspiracy] thing was like a two-album phase," says Glick. "There are still things I'll pay attention to. I just blame things more on government now rather than secret societies. If you have all the money you dictate what goes on."

Stay tuned, conspiracy fans. Next up, the Proton Accelerator take on the truth behind the Federal Reserve.

Local Buzz

It seems to us (and our brilliant powers of deduction) that Chillum may be ready for a few choice words in Latin. It appears the longtime local faves are indeed on their last leg and headed for the history books (though no one is willing to admit it -- yet). Chillum had dented the national consciousness with MTV exposure, but they've been low profile since the release of their third (and finest) disc, Should Come To No Harm in Water (ECAE). Bassist Erick Godin has reactivated Life Goes Wrong, and drummer Lance Cole is busy pulling duty with Dr. Bewkenheimer (who are contemplating the merits of relocating to sunny California). On a side note, Doug Wedge will handle drums for LGW while White Knuckle Sobriety are on hiatus. Boston/Worcester pop-punks deluxe, the Ape Hangers are also cashing in their chips after a final bow this weekend at Dinny's. Best remembered for appearing on the Empire Records soundtrack alongside the Gin Blossoms, the trio put out a fine, major-label debut with A&M, and then an excellent self-released effort in '98. All we can say is, rats. Guitarist Dirty Ed has parted ways with Upsidedown Cross. Though he was certainly nuts, he wasn't quite nuts enough to be a lifetime member of the X-men. Bob Jordan has released both his new disc, No Right Angles, as well as a career retrospective by his sometimes side project the Invented Thing Quartet. Thinner have finished recording what will be their third disc in three years. Roger Lavallee engineered the project. Local avante-porch-folkies Twang have a brand-new disc out and plan a March 3 release party at the Heywood Gallery.