Dogma

Despite the sound and fury surrounding its release, Dogma doesn't signify anything beyond the truth of Kevin Smith's repeated insistence that he's not much of a filmmaker. Basically a catechism with comic-book illustrations and foul language, this is the Miltonic tale of Loki (Matt Damon) and Bartleby (Ben Affleck), two former avenging angels exiled to Earth for questioning the vengeful will of God. They see an opportunity for salvation when Cardinal Glick (a humorless George Carlin) offers a plenary indulgence to anyone who enters a local church. What the fallen angels don't realize is that by doing so they'll unravel all Creation.

To stop them, Meta-tron (Alan Rickman, in the film's only semblance of acting), the Voice of God, enlists Bethany (Linda Fioren-tino), Christ's last living descendant and an abortion-clinic worker, plus 13th-apostle Rufus (Chris Rock) and the tiresome team of Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith). There's much, much more, none of it amusing or enlightening. Smith's filmmaking strength is dialogue; here that's all wasted on exposition and explanation. Its leaden tediousness only emphasized by its puerile whimsy and scatology, Dogma is like the shots of tequila Metatron downs but spits out -- all bad taste and no kick.

-- Peter Keough