BEAUTIFUL

by Nina Willdorf

True to form, Beautiful is only skin deep. Sally Field's directorial debut, a parody of pageants as seen through the experiences of take-no-prisoners beauty queen Mona (Minnie Driver), is as shallow as the shows it attempts to mock. Although Mona's unwavering goal since gawky grade school has been to win the Miss American Miss pageant, she makes it to the final round before conscience compels her to admit (not only to the judges but also to her kid) that she's a mom. Maternity should disqualify her, but the troops rally round, and Mona ends up not only winning but making a statement "against the patriarchy." Huh?

The satire gets spicy when Driver attempts an over-the-top lounge tune with awkwardly abrupt jazz-dance moves, and when an entrant announces her platform -- opposing teen sex -- with a seductive lick of an enormous lollipop. But that's about it. Even with a star-studded cast (Hallie Kate Eisenberg of Pepsi fame plays Mona's daughter Vanessa), Beautiful is superficial and painfully out-of-touch. And though Driver pull off her role, after doing this lame film, she may not find herself a winner when it comes to landing future roles.