Fear and Bloating on the Vineyard

Part 5

by Jason Gay

In lieu of real news, the Clinton vacation hype inevitably revolves around so-called celebrities.

The New York Times has it down pat. It makes sure to note that the Vineyard is home to Katharine Graham, Walter Cronkite, William Styron, Spike Lee, Carly Simon, and James Taylor, but emphasizes that the island "prides itself on not making a fuss over celebrities."

But one reason there isn't much fuss, of course, is that most of its celebs are of the aging, room-temperature variety, icons whose careers are either standing still, on the down slope, or defunct altogether. There's Carly (peak fame: mid 1970s). Cronkite (early '70s). Art Buchwald (early '60s). Ted Danson (late '80s). James Taylor (early '70s). Spike Lee (early '90s). Styron (mid '70s). Gay Head vacationer John F. Kennedy Jr. is a bona fide, current-day star, but he's hardly ever around; his mother, Jacqueline Onassis, is also a star, but she's dead.

There are also assorted still-breathing island personalities who aren't really celebrities, but who get lumped into the local star culture when the president comes to town. These are people like Dershowitz, Kay Graham, poet (and William's wife) Rose Styron, NEH head Sheldon Hackney, New York investment banker Steven Rattner, and presidential host Friedman. Even Vietnam War pariah Robert McNamara is afforded semi-star status on the Vineyard.

This gives Clinton vacation stories a vaguely Hollywood Squares feel. The last time Clinton played golf on the Vineyard, two members of his foursome included TV's John Ratzenberger (Cliff from Cheers) and Hardy Boy Parker Stevenson.

Today's celebrity rumors du jour are that Clinton's going to play golf with Tiger Woods, and that geek-mogul Bill Gates has rented a seaside enclave in Edgartown for the length of the presidential visit. Each of these, admittedly, is a desirable photo opportunity. There's also talk that Clinton might attend an August 29 forum on race hosted by Henry Louis Gates Jr. Not bad, either.

These rumors might pan out, but I can't help thinking they're more like media wishes. We've still got two days until Clinton's touchdown, and people must be pretty sick of writing about Carly.

Part 6

Jason Gay can be reached at jgay[a]phx.com.