Killing you softly

Part 2

by Ellen Barry

If you weren't such a nice guy, this wouldn't be so hard

The American firing philosophy is based on the idea that firing is imperative to productivity. The "slacker" is a drag on the other team members, who are "busting their humps" to "get the job done." So the competent manager will "have what it takes" to turn out the inefficient team member, thereby returning the team to full working order. That's what makes firing logical. Right?

Wrong. Because it is such a painful ostracism, firing tends to be reserved for those team members who are disliked, outplacement experts say. Team equilibrium generally counts more than personal performance.

"People leave because of personality conflicts," says James Challenger, executive vice-president of Challenger, Gray and Christmas, which has been working in outplacement services for 30 years. "Now, most people couch it in terms of performance, but almost anyone who comes in to see us can point to a moment when the relationship between them and their boss went sour."

The amiable weak link, by contrast, is less likely to get fired. "You're not going to do that to someone you like," he says. "Most companies would rather have someone working for them that is a weak performer but gets along well with everyone than someone who is a strong performer and drives everyone crazy."

Sometimes, this abrasive quality has a direct effect on performance -- for instance, in customer relations -- but other times, employees simply disrupt group cohesion by being themselves. This brings into play not only personality, but background and hygiene. Rosenberg once had a client who was considering firing a Pakistani employee who bothered his colleagues because he smelled like . . . spices.

But you won't hear Bill saying that. Instead, the firing documentation must record three instances of the same performance-related transgression, both before and after a formal warning. "Remember, we do not fire for attitude. We do not fire for personal characteristics. We fire for legitimate business reasons," he says, although the brochure still reads "Attitude Problems." This is one of the half-truths that allow offices to keep working.

This is as hard for us as it is for you

Any manager will tell you that the process of firing an employee is truly agonizing; they will talk about this at length, with expressions of great distress. At the seminar, one mild-looking engineer tells me that every termination weighs him down like a lead weight. They didn't teach this in engineering school, he says plaintively.

"It's hard to even put into words how difficult it is. Have you ever had an adult cry in front of you?" he says, with a haunted look. "When you're brushing your teeth at night, you see them in the mirror."

Yes, the lot of the soft-hearted manager is a hard one. The need to fire keeps managers up all night, it kills the appetite, it can even -- one consultant tells me gravely-- cause life-threatening illness. Joyce Gioia, a North Carolina management consultant and co-author of the upcoming management guide Lean and Meaningful, tells the following alarming story.

"Let me share with you a story. It's an awful story, but I think it sheds some light on this. I had a dentist in Scarsdale, and this dentist had a secretary who was . . . not a nice person . . . and on top of that she was incompetent. He said, `You have no idea the stress this causes me. I've tried to fire her three times, but every time, she dissolves in tears and everything continues the way it was.'

"About three months later, I found out he had cancer," Gioia says. "And when I found this out I called him and said, `You've got to get rid of this woman. It's a matter of life and death.' He said, `I can't do it.' "

She pauses dramatically.

"He died. He said to me, `It's killing me, but I still can't fire her.' Then he died," says Gioia. "There's no question that the stress can kill you. Absolutely."

This is the best thing that could happen to you

The talented firer will close the meeting with the impression that something constructive and wonderful has taken place for both of you -- something like a raise, but different. And if you are in a white-collar profession, it's true that being fired could actually turn out to be a good career move. Because the people who get fired aren't the worst employees; they're usually just annoying to someone.

Outplacement specialists routinely report that between 85 and 90 percent of the fired executives that use their services move on to positions that are as good as or better than the positions they left. Here's why: offices breed dishonesty. Rather than sitting down problem employees and telling them why they aren't being promoted, managers routinely pass unfavored employees from one department to the next.

"There's this perverse dance in performance evaluations," says Brown, of Babson College. "The person doesn't want to hear the bad news, and the boss doesn't want to deliver it. And so things go along as usual, and then one Friday afternoon at 4:30, the person finds themselves in the personnel director's office."

So -- after the numbness has worn off -- the firing is a moment of unalloyed honesty: the employee is painfully brought face to face with the fact that he has been shut out, even if he didn't notice it as it happened. The firing process "calls on people to learn something about themselves," Rosenberg says.

She adds, cheerfully, that workers are too afraid of change to leave bad jobs anyway. The jolt can be energizing. Although the Japanese reserve firing for arsonists and sociopaths, American workers' job satisfaction is higher, Brown says. Sometimes people just need to start afresh.

"Think about marriage," says Rosenberg. "People will stay in an uncomfortable situation. Why? Well, the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. Inertia. . . . It's the fear of the unknown that keeps people in lousy jobs."

Or this is what we are thinking, anyway, as we collect our frameable certificates ("BE IT KNOWN, the undersigned has successfully completed the intensive business course HOW TO LEGALLY FIRE EMPLOYEES WITH ATTITUDE PROBLEMS.") We pocket our complimentary mints and go home with new feelings of peace.

"Managers need a happy ending," muses Rosenberg, "even if there isn't a happy ending at the moment."

And that is what we have gotten. The visions of our problem employees still bob before our eyes, but the guilt is somehow less of a problem. Bill himself, smiling his broad Michigan smile at the door, saves his last benediction for the soon-to-be-fired. He offers this by way of a happy ending:

"This person [who you are about to fire] has earned the right to go off and make someone else's life miserable. And the best way of making that happen is not by firing, but by allowing them to fire themselves. And that is exactly where we have gotten since 8:45," he says. "That situation is history. People may view you as standoffish. They may put the onus on you."

With this, he releases us: "Never apologize."

Ellen Barry can be reached at ebarry[a]phx.com.